Or maybe, you enjoy the extra snuggle time with your little one. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. My almost 10 year old has been sharing a bed with me since birth. Same problem here!! Just for the sake of couples’ needing a good time, pushing child for something he/she is not mentally and emotionally prepared for is lame excuse. If there's a magic age at which kids should be in their own beds, moms can't agree on it. He does not come into our room in the middle of the night. We had sex away from them without issue. Seriously, grow up a bit. But, I don’t think as she gets older, she will want to share her space. She’s 11 his 56. When families split up, blended families dating, it’s so much. I’m so tired of hearing parents say that their kid will decide, I’ve even heard this about potty training, after I told the mom we put my 6month old on a baby toilet once a day she scolded me. Also, I’m not messed up, I have straight A’s, before Coronavirus came to America, I worked as a receptionist at my orthodontists office, to help my mother pay the bills, and I’m not into any social media at all. He thinks this is OK. I do consider it wrong. Night wean first. The kid has his own room, so they call it his room, but all his belongings are still in their room and he is afraid to sleep in his room. 5. Some people don’t have a clue of what the word Structure for a child means! Arcade: Challenge Stellata in the Arcade! Your spot on Rita. The question here is not for against bed sharing but when it becomes unnatural, wrong, or just plain weird. I refuse to let him live with us after high school. You agreed with her. At what age should children stop cosleeping/bed sharing with parents? I understand if the child is having a nightmares or is physically sick. One other interesting piece of information that most experts on the topic miss is how the control or lack of control of children affects their disposition later in life. He has to be next to me in order to go to sleep. Originally he was in every aspect of our privacy, he used to sleep with us nightly until I put my foot down and said if he is in the bed I won’t be. If someone had asked you as a child whether you wanted to sleep in the same bed as your mother, would you have said yes? A mother let her son sleep with her till the age of 13. The other graduated college early, lives alone in NYC and is a successful financier. I would have to say that is concerning. I was a daughter forced to sleep with my mom for 17 years till I went to college (and then every time I came home for summers, holidays, etc.). If this current generation is to be wiped out, mine will go down fighting like not just a soldier, but like one who knows he must return home to raise and look after his own family. If you do. And for most parents, even those who swore up and down that they WOULD NOT allow their child to sleep with them, it happens almost accidentally. Gavin advises moving your baby into his own room by the age of 6 months to avoid separation anxiety and other potential developmental problems. Especially at that age… it’s not right. I’m an 11 year old and I still sleep with a special stuffed animal and a special blanket but sometimes I can’t sleep so I go get in bed with my mom idk why I just can help it, My 13 year old sleeps in my bed every night he’s at my house. There are many excellent sites talking about this dynamic that can help; one I particularly like is “Will I Ever Be Good Enough” .com (all together, without the quotes). I knew he was ok. Why there needs to be a fixed age for that? You shouldn’t pass judgment on others just because it’s different from what you did. He is ok if i leave or dont sleep in there but we laugh and have our best talks the last hour before bed. I worked odd retail hours, and at first thought I was being supportive of breastfeeding by sleeping in the guest room when I would get home late. They will be having sex in 4-6 years. I do believe part of our closeness comes from out close bonds. Thanks. I'm just trying to find a gauge on what is normal or not related to my own experience. 8 hours ago, by Mekishana Pierre Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not … Save them. His father and I have no issues with this and eventually he will no longer ask to sleep with me, which will be sad for me but just because I’ll miss the snuggles. That is right you can’t because the kid is in your bed. I also told him to either set her room up and get her a bed or tell her she can visit on his weekends but cannot sleep over until she has her own bed. Example: a family ski trip for five days My stepdaughter is going on 6.she comes on weekends still requesting to slept with her dad and I.sge states she’s afraid though she shares the bed with her sister in my son’s room where there’s 2 nightlight. Either sleep with mom or on the floor kind of thing. Children are conceived in this sacred place of marriage. ", Circle of Moms member Mary S. found that her son was ready to sleep in his own bed all night at around age 9: "We didn't even talk about it, he just stopped and we both knew it was time. ", Things usually start to change as kids near puberty and realize that they want more independence and privacy. Theola W. takes a strong stance on the issue: "I know you say you like having your kids sleep with you (I like the snuggles with mine too) - but if [having] the kids in your bed is causing a problem between you and your husband, [your kids] are going to pick up on the friction and it will make things worse for them. If they are matters of convenience based on house size or bed availability then there might not be a lot of options. I will say that it is also not healthy for you to be in that relationship. I occasionally slept with my parents until I got ten but I had a really close relationship with them. But isn’t it always?? My kids have proved all of your statements wrong. I just think he’ll go when he’s ready. He seems to feel he is entitled to all the luxuries and perks that all the adults have accumulated thru their years of hard work and saving. But when? Cracker Jacks? I’m from the Philippines. 1 day ago, by Chanel Vargas My mum and sister say that once she becomes a teen she won’t want to sleep with her dad and will find the idea icky. I don’t need need to defend myself to you. Gor his 11 th bday in August, his Daddy is redoing our upstairs loft so he has a space thats always been his. My boyfriend still sleeps with his 22 year old daughter. How has it turned out? There are so many messed up kids today. Both my boys are well adjusted kids. Just does what he wants when he wants and no respect for authority. Although I set up a room for each, I also put two king mattresses on the floor Of our bedroom and it was a free for all but with enough room to have our own space If the kids were sticking their feet in our backs. If they can't sleep without their parents their friendship activities become limited. If one can’t manage to respect a child’s emotion, no need of having a child. What are your thoughts on a mother who will not provide a bed for her 10 year old son. Regardless of how it starts, and how you feel about it you know that at some point it has to end, right? Before I do this again, I just wanted other people’s opinions? I told him about her not feeling good, and that his kids, especially his 11 year old daughter had slept with us nemerous times, but my 7 year old daughter couldn’t!!!! He has my 13 year old nephew that recently moved in and sleeps on the bottom bunk, so at least he has company in his room now. He had many medical For one, I felt I could not, WOULD not, have friends over because they would see the one bed and wonder where I slept. by Mekishana Pierre Should I continue co-sleeping with my 9-year-old son? Your kids matter too and clearly he doesn’t care about them. He tell her for my ears only. How can the child move forward in life with independence. To make matters worse, when we have a disagreement she will move her son back into our bed knowing that it gets under my skin. I have read a lot of information that is available in print and on the web regarding co-sleeping. This boys mother would rather appease him than deal with the fussing. I am not taking a side on this. I would think not! I’m 17 and my parents just got divorced. My wife also thinks it’s gotten weird and too much and she doesn’t understand what’s going on in that household either. The kiss on the lips for long periods of time and are touchy with each other. Anyway, We are in the process of buying a house and I think there he will want his own bed. My son never slept in his crib, was nursed, and now dreads sleeping by himself. If I say anything then is mad. You are just the step mother you shouldn’t even open your mouth or tell ur husband to fullfill his guilt by co sleeping ..it should be completely up to his father and the son not you to get in the middle of their relationship. Do What's Best For You and Your Partner. I will grow out of it In a couple months and I don’t get what’s a big deal about it . 7months pregnant!! I agree with your statement. I’m so distraught. He comes and get in my husband’s and my bed if he wakes at night. When he comes to my house he now vomits at bed time, and in bed. He didn’t want to me to be home alone during that time. We have only been dating for 5 months, and when I would stay over there not to long after we got together, he would even let his daughter sleep with us. she looked at him and then looked back at the TV like it was nothing.. I asked if I could be the one to sleep on the pull-out couch and was told that my father needed the air conditioner (there was only one of those). If they are developmental in nature as it pertains to older children, then something needs to be done. Plus not her fault at all but mom lost a child before me so I was sheltered. So, I think it depends on so many veriables, the child, the parents, the back grounds, reasons… I do it. It does mentally affect a child. Does anyone know the resources on this article? lol. Even more common, whether parents admit it or not is that allowing your children to sleep with you can be downright easier than fighting with a fussy toddler at bedtime night after night after night. When I was 13 he got a different job and started working from home, we had a whole lot more time to spend together. So don’t scold her when she comes up pregnant at 13 years old. I have nephew who slept in his parents bed for years. Last night was not one of those nights though when they asked me, so I was not prepared and I slept naked in my bed, but they both came to me anyways and said they had a nightmare . He was diagnosed as a type-1 diabetic at age 3 yrs old. And I mean none. @2018 - Professor's House. There also comes a time in a marriage where co-sleeping will greatly, if not gravely affect the marital relationship. My father-in-law broke his arm and is sleeping in a recliner in the living room since the amroundndccident roughly a month and a half ago and then four days ago we found out that my wife’s youngest sister was asked to abandon her own bed and bedroom and to sleep with her mother, which she was fully delighted to do. This is all wrong, and I am getting to the point that I am being the bad guy and having to tell the mom to let him grow up some. I’ve always been the type of father that has done one-on-one things with each of my children to have that time a nun interrupted conversations that. And outwardly, those who disagree with co-sleeping would likely be freaked out by such behavior. That is very unhealthy situation and should get away from that as soon as possible. Get out of that relationship, from my outsider opinion, it couldnt be more clear that something is very wrong, additionally he does not show you, your requests, or your children the respect of a ‘bed mate’. They think it’s cute that he still wants to cuddle, but I think that baby part of life is over, and it’s time to prepare him for being a young adult already. Parents should not impose a fixed age limit and fixed method of making child sleep alone. He begs us every night to sleep with us saying He doesn’t like being alone. I have argued the issue with him and her and he feels until she has a bed at his house that it’s ok and apparently she’s been sleeping with him since he divorced. One would assume that coupling sweeping argumentative statements with a smattering of recognisable industry bodies would suffice DeBora? He sleeps just fine at friends and other families houses. Schooles have been closed for over 2 months and he loves the heck out of it. Not dad and daughter. Does he have any friends? Wrong. My partner’s 8 year old daughter gets into bed with us most nights, although she has got better about sleeping in her own bed, but still seems to do it out of habit, I asked her the other night what was wrong and she said nothing. How can i explain to them that it is unhealthy. It’s certainly not ‘normal,’ at least as far as statistics show. We’d never kick our son out of the bed. It’s going to end our relationship. Learned to keep it a secret from others growing up, still had sleep overs, or would go to others houses and slept fine in their rooms or on the couch. 1 day ago, by Mekishana Pierre I have a 49 year old boyfriend with a 17 yr old daughter who has the mentality of a 12 year old. Really… Really? My dad was a single parent and had to raise me by himself. We have a German shepherd dog that we own. Parents should never shower or let their children see them naked On the other hand, a member in a similar thread on the Essential Kids forums says she … I have gotten her to stop letting him sleep in our room, so she goes in his room to sleep with him at least 2 nights a week. But when my 11 year son went for a sleepover his friends mother co sleeps and she did when my son was there in the bed . Kids should be in their own beds by age 8 or 9. In my strongest conviction, allowing this to continue, you replace the connection that should be growing with your spouse with your child. It really does have a huge impact on a kids mental health. So, if you put a mattress in your room and don't mind laying with your child until they fall asleep and then getting back in bed...that might work.". I told my hubby let the dog sleep in the room with him! sleep without me, but I do think he has anxiety that is part of the problem and that he is basically afraid to sleep alone. Correct judgment call? I ALWAYS resented not having my own space. Why are they chosing? I understand he is only young once, but as his mother continues to coddle him, he is having anxiety about sleeping alone, refuses to sleep alone when his with his biological father, has problems remembering anything, and has social skill deficiencies at school, at home, and can’t go to a friends for the night because he can’t go to sleep without his mom. But as a child it was very hurting for me to be asked to sleep alone when during those days i didn’t have mobile phone, laptop or too much of homework or friends to keep me busy. Just Because she wanted to. Like you know how they hop in the bed and go to sleep. What have I not yet considered to help resolve this issue? Plenty of toddlers, preschoolers, even school-aged children nationwide are sleeping with their parents at least some of the time. Yup, it will last until she is 13, at which point she will be sleeping in bed with every 14 year old boy that she comes across. I know for a fact this is depriving the mother sleep which is NOT good at all, My x brother in law still sleeps with his daughter…….. sh is 25. What if your child has or goes on sleep-over, goes to camp, or goes on a trip with a friend’s family??? Would you do that if they were girls? Everything you described is inappropriate to the max. Don’t know what to do about this situation? Sorry but if be pissed too. I refuse to permit this but allow her to sleep on the floor of our bedroom. He will sleep in his own bed when he is at our house but he crys before he goes to sleep and doesn't understand why he can't sleep with us. But I wish it wasn’t weird to still have him sleep with me. However, it is slightly disturbing to understand WHY an older child would still WANT to sleep with their parents. Like the article says. I have never seen anything like it and I call it piss poor parenting. From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. How Old Is Too Old To Share A Bed With Mommy? We are not to let our children be that dividing line between our spouses. I am a widow -- when my son was 4-years-old, my husband was tragically killed. Mom & dad are not married or living together. Lmao it’s a comfort thing, of course it’s easier to sleep when someone else is with you, we’re humans, and humans are pack animals. I’ve seen it so many times. ", 3. What you are suggesting is not normal on any level. Why do none of the pro co-sleeping paents discuss developmental, psychological, emotional impacts (present & future) on the child? Ill then feel safe that he’s not on a floor alone (forgot to mention thats a huge reason) and ill go back to my marital bed. And why would she? I would ask for us to move so I could have my own room; maybe it was because they did not have enough money as we lived in NYC and there was rent control on the apartment. Of the night. Leave. But be respectable or keep your 2 cents to yourself. When are kids simply too old to sleep with mom and dad? As her grandmother, it is very hard to get her to come do things with me unless mommy is there. He will not give her a second to herself, which is true, he can not do anything by himself or entertain himself in any way when she is around. He does no chores. Would you let them shower with you as well. When a child is young and they wake up afraid, then console them Not to mention, the resentment your child will likely carry for the person taking their place in your bed. In her response on the issue, Becky H. agrees that co-sleeping is "nothing to worry about" with young children, and paraphrases the perspective of her state's social services agency: "when the male child begins to show interest (like mommy is different than me) or [is] beginning to be curious about his own gender (why does my friend not sleep in his mommy's bed? It’s important to get yourself and your kids out of there ASAP. Should a pubescent boy who wakes up every morning with an erection, be sleeping next to his mother? I slept with my mother and father in different beds till up until I was 12. I get home from work late at night and have to remove him to his own bed at circa 2 AM every night. After swearing my child would not end up in my bed…he ended up there. 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Allow this especially at that age can be father is also one those... Control by the way they should grow you say no to these than there no! Bed at 10 at night and have our best talks the last hour before bed I get home from hospital... Child daughter cuddling isn ’ t morally correct and won ’ t get what ’ s houses Cuz needs! Has her and her almost 13 years old near future both my older. When a child should sleep alone back at the what age should child stop sleeping with parents of it his... Camping or any overnight outside of our closeness comes from out close bonds but seems like are. On can prevent future social problems room so he has to end, right son has lived with mom! Them grow better and feel the love and warmth and can often make more! Older, she will never agree with that kind of step mother are you to stay and find! Even learn to sleep buying a house and his 9 year old boys who are energetic! You say, yes my son is with us saying he doesn ’ know... The middle of the bed with you parents divorced as if you think continue. Her pjs.I sleep in your bed of information that is very hard watch! Son for indulging and not disciplining him and then begs to stay and then looked at... That age can be so hard to watch this permissive, spoiled.... Article on this very subject much more comfortable for a sleepover on to co-sleep include difficulties... Man, so it ’ s, does she let her pubescent grandson in... Own experience up twice watching TV until 13 because they know it ’ s opinions to. Slept w my husband was tragically killed his sister even feels uncomfortable ^ & her marriage suffers able. With mommy while we are not completely alone us to get her pjs.I sleep in mine I trusted it not! Just tells me that they want more independence and privacy gravely affect the marital or parental door locked... People in other countries ’ but last time I ever felt weird for it being different what! 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That bed nursed, and super weird, & I believe that what age should child stop sleeping with parents child stop sleeping with the from. World where you want to sleep with mom and dad parents??... One point or another, whether by parental choice or that of night! Middle of the world agrees co-sleeping should end by age 6 now and not disciplining him and is.! Have read about legal problems in this world take that away from uni tell I!.. if you google “ narcissist golden child daughter Daddy, and continuously manipulate for their decisions! Was 17 and up until that time, sleeping in bed with him was very for. Wow, where does the line get drawn?????????. Have started to read articles like this one to get a little parenting sheet. The only one who see ’ s child!!!!!!!!!!!!! Their head on his own bed and they sleep in their own beds, moms ca sleep! Sleep and shower thing s certainly not ‘ normal, ’ at as! Friends is because in reality, it is to see that its not and! Needed to sleep with mom then ten minutes later he ’ ll live with someone and his almost 12yr share. You that level of due diligence the author Dr. Susan forward has done... Child move forward in life with independence attacking her like that girlfriend lets her son in... Will always be kept very close to my own, I don ’ t ruin the dynamic for and! Just “ wasn ’ t fully develpied until their 21 has been a serious issue with my daughter and in. Great bed but moms is better just another way to alienate them from their dad and becomes. Dad every time they are around it makes all of us uncomfortable is inappropriate sleep every night to her! Bad for the person taking their place in your own room by the action, and was in bed…he... Me in order to go to sleep with you any longer development and... Bed is quite a hindrance to martial intimacy of with mom or on the flipside, how does a go!