– Matthew 6:33. Marriage is a gift from God, but it is nonetheless a gift we must be ready to receive. 1. As Jesus once said, we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves (Mark 12:31), not more than ourselves. You can't take care of another if you can't take care of yourself and that means growing spiritually, caring for our health and seeking our own personal growth. You desire marriage. When you are confused about what will happen in your future in regards to marriage, you then have the opportunity to continue to be faithful to God as you follow him or you can reject God because you want him to give you a spouse and he isn’t doing this in your timeline. 4. Keeping God in his rightful place is the key to a long, happy, and lasting marriage. As you prepare yourself for marriage, focus on allowing God to shape you and mold you into the man or woman He wants you to be (Romans 12:1-2). When we seek to be on the receiving end all the time, we'll just be in bad spiritual and emotional positions.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',156,'0','0'])); 3. Let me prove it. A marriage is a bad source of all of this. But really relationships at their best are less about receiving and more about giving. I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. We all know that's a formula for certain disaster! 4. 2. I want you to know today that God has got you. My gift to you. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. - YouTube God, though, might be giving you the signs that you are ready. Nothing more, nothing less. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life – to glorify God. The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. The Bible is jammed packed with advice on marriage. So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have good motives for marriage. 6 Signs God Is Preparing You for Marriage By Sanctifying Your Motives 1. 3. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” And in John 15:13 Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”. 2. Silence might be just as deadly as violence when it comes to marriage. 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You may not be able to recognize His actions at first, but He is leading you through little things that seem like coincidences. Thank … 6. It will bring you closer to Him. Our marriages are no different. One of the tests God puts singles through who desire to be married one day is the test of confusion. He is love and he made marriage to reflect that love. If God Has Been Teaching You that Love Is About Sacrificing Yourself for Someone Else, This Is a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage, It’s not wrong to want to be loved, but many people end up very disappointed in relationships because they are going into it thinking this is where they will finally feel loved by another. Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. We need to be ready for when God gives us the gift of a spouse. It simply means you promise before God and man that you will love someone with the love of Christ until you or your spouse dies. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. With that in mind, here are six ways that God is leading you to the one. "Being in a committed relationship with someone who pushes and drives you toward your aspirations and goals solidifies that they want what's best for you," she explains. It is critical that while you are faithfully standing for your marriage, that you are also allowing God, day by day to change and purify your life. Do you want to love and know God better and better every day? "eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',150,'0','0'])); 7. I’m currently offering 3 courses and one of those courses is called Heart Check. If there's anything you'll need more when you get married, it's the fruit of the Spirit that brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). God may want to change you or your spouse before He brings your family back together. It could be a gradual revelation, where little by little you see growth. For as 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 states: For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. Study God’s idea of marriage. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. But when God begins to highlight specific truth in his word that teaches you about good motives for relationships, this is a sign the Lord is sanctifying your motives for marriage. When we apply this to our desire for marriage in singleness, this means that our motives seem fine until we start looking at them through the lens of God’s holiness. Suddenly, some of the things you might have considered a deal-breaker in the past, you now have compassion for and lead you to your future husband. Anyone who enters marriage expecting it to infuse life with excitement and meaning is in for a surprise. What I mean is that if you go into your future marriage with the expectation of this other human making you happy in ways only God can, you will actually have a very unhappy marriage. It's completely free - my gift to you. I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety. Are you seeking to get married to gain approval, acceptance or status? You have healthy boundaries in place…and you live by them. Here are 3 signs God might be preparing you for marriage. These traits are most evident in a person who has an intimate relationship with God. Here are seven signs to look out for, and to also aim for as well. But through your season of singleness God will sanctify your motives for marriage by making you secure in Christ first and foremost. God uses struggle and suffering to sharpen and refine us, and birth something new. The problem with a silent house is the absence of emotional connection. If God Has Been Teaching You that Your Future Marriage Is Really Less About You and More About the Glory of God, This Is a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage, Perhaps throughout this article you’ve been asking, “Okay, I get that God wants me to sanctify my motives for marriage. Many people walk down the aisle thinking they're ready to commit to a lifelong partnership only to regretfully end it a few years later. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. Learn God’s design for marriage now to benefit you later on down the road. . When you pray and ask God to make you into the kind of wife your future husband needs, you are preparing yourself for a better marriage. The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone (Gen. 2:18). What is God preparing you for? Here are 6 signs God is helping you sanctify your motives for your future marriage. So even when it comes to relationship with another human, ultimately even that relationship is meant to bring God glory. In the process God will then be sanctifying your relationship motives and bring you peace. Experiencing a low time in your ministry “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. And love is always about doing what’s best for the other person at whatever personal cost is required of you. But it’s not because you and your spouse shed the tedium of daily life. 5. Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. Mark 10:9 states, "So they are no longer two but one flesh. AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. You seek Jesus more than anything else. 6. A Guidebook for Every Phase of Christian Singleness, I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the, These principles apply to specific areas of our lives as well. If God Is Teaching You to Follow Him Even When You Are Single for Longer Than You Want, This Is a Sign God Is Also Sanctifying Your Motives for Your Future Marriage. The paperback version is available for $12.99. In Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV) it says,” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Here are four signs that you may be in a God-appointed time of transition in your gift or calling, along with some keys to help you move forward: 1. When it comes to finances, do you see God as a spiritual vending machine, a far-off cosmic entity or a loving Lord who seeks your good more than you'll ever know? Jesus once taught the disciples to seek service rather than glory in the realm of leadership. I thank you that I can trust you with every single detail of my life, that everything that matters to me matters to you. You love this person just for being them. The second greatest commandment is not just a call to love others but to also love yourself the right way. If God Has Been Highlighting Biblical Truth to You that Points to the Importance of Pure Motives, God Could Be Teaching You to Specifically Sanctify Your Motives for Marriage, When we ignore what the Bible says about motives in general, it affects our specific application of these truths, including in regards to our motives for marriage. 4 Signs You are in a Ministry Transition. These are the seasons when God seems silent…when our dreams and visions for the future seem lifeless. He might be pushing you to take that next step, but you have to listen out for His guidance. God does not want you to stay grieved, for his word corrects us to bring us close to God, “for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”. So when you find the right person, remember to always keep God that the center of your heart and marriage. So if God is teaching you to desire marriage not just so you can be loved but so you can give sacrificial love to another, then God is also sanctifying your motives for marriage. If God Is Teaching You to Respect Other People’s Opinions Even When You Disagree, This Is a Good Sign He Is Preparing You for a Loving Future Marriage There certainly does need to be some high level form of compatibility between a man and woman for them to pursue marriage. I know that in your perfect timing, when you see fit, you will bring us both together to love and serve you. 8. You might have some indications about the future as you move through your seasons. In much the same way, you and I go through spiritually dormant seasons. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life –. If you are experiencing a high level of discomfort in your current situation, this open door may be God’s opportunity to release you from your peril. When it comes to love and marriage, feelings aren’t the best gauge for God’s will. Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. Consider going to my sponsor Faithful Counseling for professional, affordable, Christian counseling. Only Jesus is the true source of a secured identity. He gives you the desire. Ideally the giving is mutual from both sides so both the man and woman give and receive love, but as an individual your first thought must not be, “How can I get love?” but rather, “How can I give love to this other person?”, As Galatians 5:5-6 (NIV) states, “For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. This reality doesn’t suddenly change the moment you exchange vows. Just type in your email address below. 5. This does not mean that discomfort is a sign you're in the wrong place. When we walk by the Spirit in our marriage, we will be able to walk in love for our spouse more and more. For as Philippians 3:8 states, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”, 5. When You Know You Truly Want to Be Married to Glorify God, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You Your Heart Is Ready for a Relationship This is actually one of the big topics I discuss in AGW University. It could be a complete mystery, in which you have no choice but to walk by faith. It’s pure love. And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, ‘This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.’ For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage (not necessarily in that order). To enjoy our website, you'll need to enable JavaScript in your web browser. Philippians 3:14 tells us, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. But when the law was rediscovered Nehemiah made sure all the people heard it. So that's what AGW is all about! If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. There is absolutely no guarantee your future spouse will continue to love you. 3. eval(ez_write_tag([[336,280],'christiantoday_com-box-3','ezslot_0',113,'0','0'])); Marriage isn't rocket science, but it's no joke either. If you have tried couples counseling and did not see improvements it’s time to rethink your marriage. When the Spirit convicts you of having improper marriage motives, he will do so in a way that makes you feel loved and cared for, because why would God care to correct you if he did not really love you? Because it doesn’t. In love God wants the best for you, and so if you have bad motives for marriage, the Holy Spirit will give you a godly grief that will produce a healthy repentance. If you put more faith in signs than in the revealed Word of God, you’ll be tempted to disregard wisdom and to overlook what God has already told us in the Bible. But if you are largely content where you are, open to God’s timing but making the most of your present place, and you sense a sudden restlessness, God could be calling you to a new location, job, ministry or relationship. If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually preparing you for a healthy marriage too. By establishing a relationship with God, He then teaches us about ourselves. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. But then when you come back and hear his truth once more, you are grieved to repentance. Marriage no longer determines your identity. If God Is Giving You the Needed Relationship Experience to Meet, Date, and Marry the One He Has for You, This Could Be a Sign that God Is Preparing You for Marriage Sometimes we have a desire for marriage before we are equipped to be married. Above all you must understand that in “standing” your faith must be in God … I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your faith in God be expressed in your love for others. So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful depression and self-hatred, that is not the Holy Spirit convicting you. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous". The same truth applies in our marriages. You seek to serve more than being served. The same is true in marriage. Sure, there are no perfect couples, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a to live in righteousness and fidelity. However, if you find multiple signs working against you, then it’s time you … How do we know we're ready for marriage? That’s not to say marriage doesn’t improve life. Proverbs 21:2 states, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”. So if you are having anxiety about being single, about dating, or about a particular person you have feelings for, this is a sign God is asking you to come to him in prayer about those specific issues. Pray together, serve together, and fall in love with each other every single day. Let me just remind you that t he right relationship won’t distract you from God. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" 6. You’re asking questions, interacting on issues, and finding a way to connect. 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